Joy Kirsch

Board Member Emeritus and Founder

I was widowed in 1993 at the age of 30. After six years with the man of my dreams and one year living in total hell as he spiraled down into depression and drugs, I was left trying to understand what went wrong and how someone with so much promise could decide that suicide was his best option. I was angry and afraid, and yet so sad and disappointed over the loss of my handsome husband, whom I knew to be funny, strong, tender, and loving. I felt cheated out of my dreams, very alone, and financially vulnerable from the surprise debt that he had left me.

Although I was a professional with a degree in economics AND a practicing Certified Financial Planner™, I was totally paralyzed by the experience of widowhood. Suddenly, I went from someone who ran a small business and was comfortable with making decisions to someone who was totally vulnerable and overwhelmed by the sheer number of decisions that needed to be made. I felt incapable of accomplishing anything.

Since I was raised in a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” kind of family, I ignored my grief and immediately went back to work. I felt a great sense of accomplishment when I was able to check things off my “to-do” list, never realizing that I was actually slowing my recovery by ignoring the emotional side of my grief. I put off dealing with anything that required my heart and lived instead inside my poorly functioning brain.

As I slowly got my own financial house in order, I began to study how grief can affect our decision-making. Although the brain trust of knowledge around grief is still growing, experts believe that we lose as much as twenty percent of our brain power in times of duress. It’s no wonder widows can make poor decisions…our brains literally aren’t working to their previous capacity! As I became more knowledgeable in human behavior, I began to work with other women who had lost their husbands, feeling like the combination of my personal loss, along with my financial and behavioral science training, could be of assistance to them in their own journeys. The one thing that I felt was really missing in our community was a group of widows with whom I could share ideas and turn to for personal advice.

Looking back, I see how my widowhood experience has shaped who I am both personally and professionally. As I have “recoupled” and moved forward into what Christina Rasmussen calls our “Second Firsts,” I recognize that there can be more than one “man of my dreams.” I also recognize that losing my husband at a young age required me to develop resilience skills that I am still using today, it allowed me to form wonderful relationships with other widows (including developing the best girlfriend that a girl could ask for in my co-leader Nanci Masso), and it created the space for me to more fully develop my relationship with my Creator. Professionally, it has created my desire to learn more about life-changing events and how they affect our decision-making, so that I can prepare others for what lies ahead. My goal, in fact, my passion, is to help other widows transition from grief to growth with confidence and a sense of purpose. The Widow’s Journey: from Grief to Growth is the creative expression of that passion.

Every woman’s journey is different and unique, but I sincerely hope that my experience and training, as well as the knowledge and experiences of others gathered here, will be of use to you as you travel your life’s path. I wish you all the best on your journey.

Karen Actkinson

Board Member

Karen Actkinson is honored to serve on the board of The Widow’s Journey, affectionately known as “Wisters” — a sisterhood of women walking together through grief, healing, and renewed purpose.

Karen’s love story with her late husband, Don, began as high school sweethearts in Van Buren, Ar after she moved there from Albuquerque, NM, at age fifteen. Life briefly took them in different directions for a couple of years —

Karen studied at the University of Arkansas, earning her bachelor’s degree in dental hygiene, and Don moved to Dallas to go to college and began working at UPS part-time.  

It was clear they were meant to be together! After reuniting, they were engaged within six months and married within the year, building a life grounded in love, faith, and family.

Karen has worked part-time as a dental hygienist in the Grapevine, Colleyville, and Southlake area while raising their three children — two sons and a daughter — who remain her greatest blessings. Today, her greatest joy is her growing family of grandchildren — three born within nine months of one another, with another on the way. KK is her favorite name! 

Don had a 35-year career with United Parcel Service. He worked in every aspect of the company and retired from management early at age 55. Together they embraced what they believed would be one of the sweetest chapters of their lives — traveling, spending time with their grown kids, visiting their home in Breckenridge, and enjoying the wonderful life that was built together! Don was always so much fun, the life of the party, and he loved adventure! We both loved scuba diving, and Don especially loved riding his Harley-Davidson motorcycle.

Tragically, in Colorado, the week of their son Jacob’s wedding on June 19, 2019, Don was involved in a fatal accident just three days before the ceremony. He was only 58 years old. The wedding went on, and it was beautiful with all our friends and family there, but she quickly had to come back to reality and plan a funeral when she got back home. Karen credits her deep faith in God and wonderful family and friends for carrying her through that devastating season. 

Finding The Widow’s Journey — her “Wisters” — has been a profound gift. Within this community, she found women who truly understand loss because they have walked it themselves. Through shared experiences, friendship, laughter, and unwavering support, Karen has rediscovered joy and meaningful connection. She is especially grateful for the strong leadership of Joy and Nanci, whose dedication has kept this sisterhood a place of comfort, strength, and belonging.

Serving on the board is both an honor and a calling. Karen is passionate about ensuring that every widow who comes to Wisters finds hope, understanding, and the reassurance that she does not have to walk this journey alone.♥️

Pam Aldred

Board Member

Need Bio

Claudia Spears

Secretary

Claudia was born in Anchorage Alaska and is the oldest of a military family of 8. She retired from a 20 year career in Health Care Marketing, responsible for New Product Development, in the late 90’s. She Started an Arabian Horse Breeding and Racing Farm, which produced several National Champions and an Arabian Horse of the Year. Claudia Closed the Horse Business in 2017, when she moved to Dallas to be closer to family. Claudia Serves as the current Chair of the Arabian Racing “Hall of Fame” Committee and is a pass board member of the Arabian Jockey Club in Texas and the Equine Research Advisory Commission in Texas. Claudia and her late husband Dan have 3 Sons and One Daughter and 12 grandchildren. She enjoys traveling and golf.

Mary Margaret

Board Member

Hi! I’m Mary Margaret Emery. Both my husband and I are native Texans. We were both born and raised in Corpus Christi, Texas.

I was married to my husband, Charlie Emery, for 51+ years. Charlie and I met on a blind date, and we married 3 months later, after Hurricane Celia destroyed Corpus Christi and all the plans and venues we had secured. He was a Professional PGA golfer. I hadn’t ever seen a golf course in person! He taught me so much! We traveled with the mini tour around Arizona and New Mexico, where he won money for us to eventually buy 2 different resort golf shops and golf carts in the Hill Country of Texas. We worked together running those shops while he gave golf lessons, sold golf merchandise, and made so many friends!

Charlie was finally convinced to work for someone who wanted him to run a golf cart company in Florida. We lived in Boca Raton, Florida for 6 years ( pure Paradise!). By that time we were a family of 4: a son and a daughter! Life was so good! But everything came to and end and we parted ways with the owner and moved back to Texas and Charlie went to work with Club Car, where he won Salesman of the Year twice! He was known as Club Car Charlie. By that time we were in the DFW. I joined the Southlake Chamber of Commerce. I organized a Run to raise money for many charities. I also helped organize and raise money for a park in Grapevine for disabled children

My Charlie died Feb 18, 2022 from heart disease and related complications. He left me a Love Letter ( if you will), a red notebook with all the passwords, Account Numbers, phone numbers of the representatives he worked with. He left me a guide for everything I’d need if he died before me!

He was a wonderful man and husband! He made me laugh everyday. In 2004, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and Charlie took me to all 12 of my chemo treatments. He took such great care of me! I called him My Knight in Shining Armor!

During that time, I worked in Sales for a Respiratory Company, taking care of patients who needed Home oxygen, enteral nutrition and Home ventilators, and stayed with that company for 20 years.

I have a home in Grapevine Texas. We have 5 beautiful grandchildren! I have a skincare company that I represent and sell the products through. I enjoy working in my yard and potted plants, taking walks in the park or just around my neighborhood, antiquing, decorating my home and helping friends with decorating tasks. I love getting together with friends and having lunch and shopping. I love listening to music, dancing, and reading!

My circles of friends are many! I’m beyond blessed! And now I have my Wisters! I have a giving heart for these widows. We share something we wish we didn’t!

Heather Peery

Vice-President - Administrative Assistant

Kay Murcer

Board Member

In 1966, I married my high school sweetheart, Bobby.  He was the cute neighborhood jock who had played on the same Little League team as my brother when they were both eleven. We started “going steady “ after he got a driver’s license, and at eighteen, on the night of his high school graduation, Bobby signed a contract to play baseball for the New York Yankees. We married two years later, and by our fifth anniversary, we were a family of four. Our daughter, Tori, was born in 1968 during Bobby’s stint in the Army... Todd was a welcome surprise the following year.  While we scheduled life around our kids’ activities and Bobby’s baseball calendar for the next couple of decades, I fed my passions as well.  I loved organizing “Girls Nite Out” events featuring a variety of interesting guest speakers. These informational swap-meets brought dozens of women together, exchanging ideas on health, art, community services, yoga sessions, etc... always fun experiences promoting the value of female friendships.  At that same time, I partnered with ten friends to start a gourmet kitchen store in Oklahoma City... Classic Gourmet.  Life was busy, full of travel and Kodak moments... we were counting our blessings and expanding our family with bonus children, once Tori and Todd each found their life mates... David and Lynne. 

Fast forward to 2006... we celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary with family and friends in New York City. Christmas Eve arrived six weeks later, hand-delivering Bobby an aggressive brain cancer diagnosis, propelling us into eighteen months of treatments and nervous uncertainty. We were tethered to MD Anderson in Houston most of 2007...   Bobby continued treatment in a clinical trial and resumed broadcasting Yankees games.  During that year, we wrote the book he had planned to pen once his baseball career ended... YANKEE FOR LIFE pretty much details our love story, though it’s disguised as a sports biography. The book launched on Bobby’s 62nd birthday, two months before he lost his brave fight on July 12, 2008. That dreaded GBM tumor was the thief we never saw coming... the roadblock to our happily ever after... and my eventual detour toward a different journey of faith.

In 2014, my heart led me to a move from Oklahoma to Dallas, Texas. I knew my five grandchildren... Sophie, Knox, Jackson, Ava & Holden... weren’t getting any younger, and neither was their Lali, that’s me. Uprooting and transplanting require skills and plenty of TLC. This is true of herbs like cilantro and dill, and is especially true of widows. I was definitely happy to be near my children, but found myself uncharacteristically anxious about cultivating a crop of new friends in my “solo & uncoupled” status. I prayed I’d find acceptance in my unfamiliar surroundings, but experienced self-inflicted insecurity during the first weeks of neighboring. I could never have imagined the two angels God was about to put in my path ... enter Joy Kirsch and Nanci Masso... inviting me to the next Widows Journey meeting, setting me up for the next chapter of my life.

I’m now busier than ever, energized by my wonderful teen grandchildren and the most diverse, loving, inspiring widowed women friends. I attend Yankees Old Timers Day events each year, and carry on Bobby’s legacy, presenting the Baseball Assistance Team Murcer award to teams in both leagues. Our grandkids enjoy making these annual presentations with me, keeping Bobby Pops’ memory and his contribution to baseball alive. I still love writing and have contributed to two published books of devotionals. I’m hoping to one day gift each grandchild with a book of personal stories of our life together, encouraging them to include their own artwork and remembrances. I’m continuing my “old school” hobby of compiling music and burning CDs on my laptop, and am most passionate about helping organize the monthly socials for Widows Journey. I can’t imagine my life without these fabulous Wisters, and look forward to expanding our mission together.  

Camille Anter

Treasurer

Hi All — I’m originally from Wisconsin (yes, I’m a Cheesehead!), then lived in Cleveland, Ohio for 40 years after I married my husband, Dick, in 1980.  Dick and I met when I was 18, and he was 20, but we didn’t marry until reconnecting 8 years later.  I started my career as a stockbroker for Merrill Lynch, then became Director of Banking & Cash Management for Scott & Fetzer Corp. Dick loved politics and decided to run for Mayor of Fairview Park, a Cleveland suburb, when he was 27 yrs. old, and against all odds, was elected in 1980 — at the time, he was the youngest Mayor of a chartered city in the country.  I stepped into my role as First Lady of Fairview Park reluctantly — I was only 25 at the time and had no interest in politics.  But Dick managed to make it fun — lots of dinners out, so I didn’t have to cook, and special events like riding the city firetruck around town on Christmas Eve dressed as Santa & Mrs. Claus, throwing candy out to all the kids.  Later on, Dick transitioned to business and became Director of Downtown Development for the City of Cleveland.  I worked part-time in real estate & banking while raising our three children.  My last job before retirement was Coordinator of the St. John Festival of the Arts, a major art festival near my home in Cleveland.

Dick and I were both excited when our last child graduated from college in 2011 — no more tuition payments, and no more mortgage payments after paying it off that same year.  We finally had time & money to travel and got busy making plans.  Little did we know that our happy life was about to take a drastic turn.  Dick was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma (an incurable blood cancer) in October of 2011.  He had a stem cell transplant in 2012 and was on constant treatment until he passed from a heart attack in 2019 while we were on a trip to the Holy Land.  We had spent the last 2 years of his life traveling around the country together as Patient Ambassadors for Takeda Pharmaceuticals, talking to patients (and their caregivers) who were newly diagnosed with MM. This was his way of making something good come out of his situation, and gave us both a sense of purpose while dealing with the reality of this awful disease.

Soon after Dick passed, my son and his wife left Cleveland for a new job in Plano, Texas.  My daughters were living in New York and El Paso, so I no longer had any children living near me.  Since I already had two sisters living in Dallas, my son suggested I sell the house and move there, too, which I did in 2020.  Covid gave me a great excuse to stay home and clean out my house for six months!  I live in Irving now, near my son and two precious grandchildren (a third grandchild lives in El Paso).  My sister, Danni, who is friends with Joy, told me about The Widow’s Journey, and I started going to meetings in 2021.  This organization has been a godsend for me because I found wonderful friends who understand the emotional roller coaster of being a widow, something my married friends can’t relate to.  I am honored to be a Board member of this wonderful organization and look forward to assisting our members in the years ahead.